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Time for a selfcession

selfcessionOftentimes singles can feel low in the self-esteem department. It can be quite easy to get into a rut of feeling undesirable and throwing the odd pity party what with rag-mags bombarding us with info about relationships, marriage, flings and engagements. It can leave the impression that in order for life to be full, romantic relationships must always be in progress or at least a work in progress. The goal emphasised by the media is to be in a relationship. Celeb-land aside, people in relationships are usually seen as always having somebody else to hold them up emotionally and physically. Singles, on the other hand are stereotypically seen as lacking and wallowing in the misery of singledom. This stereotype may be a reality for some people but with a bit of self-esteem it may stop being an issue. In reality, not every day is necessarily filled with such despondency and lack of self worth but most singles have days when they feel undesirable and alone. So here are some tips to get the self-esteem up and running!

1 Enjoy just being you. You can make yourself happy without being in a relationship. I like to call this a selfcession – spend some time with yourself. Have a really good session – go to dinner, get a nice bottle of wine. Watch a good movie or read a book. You might be surprised at how much you actually enjoy your own company.

2 Stay positive. This helps with stress and can also physically improve health. By replacing negative self-deprecating talk of, ‘why am I not in a relationship’ with positive thoughts of, ‘its great I’m not in a relationship for now, I can focus on myself’ the serotonin will start to flow!

3 Flirt a bit! On the phone, at a shop, flirting makes you feel good about yourself. It reminds you of your sexuality and there are no strings attached to it. Both parties feel uplifted, a total win win situation!

4 Dress to please. Wearing your best clothes, shoes and make-up can make all the difference. Rather than opting for the ‘fat-ugly-day’ baggies and never been washed hoody, why not choose to dress your best? When you’re looking your best it can only improve your opinion of yourself. You don’t need to impress anyone but yourself.

5 Meditate. Not to get all new-agey here but taking a few minutes out of your day to reflect on all the good things you have in life can be so beneficial. Just stop and observe your life and all the blessings you have, even if its just for a few minutes. Recession or not, you are living and breathing and so have a lot to be thankful for.

6 And lastly, spoil yourself! Treat yourself to something nice whether it’s a new hair cut, a pair of shoes, a sun holiday or just a choccy bar. You don’t need to be in a relationship to be spoiled – spoil yourself! You deserve it!


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  1. I read Roberta’s piece and it brought a tear to my eye – There’s a lot of lonely singles out there. Why not head down to Lisdoonvarna and try and get a partner there?


    Don’t let low self esteem catch a hold – there’s someone for everyone. Sure, you don’t need to be in a relationship to be spoiled but it helps. I’m in a relationship many years and loving it.

    Goodluck with the search,
    Will Ryan.

    Posted by WilliamRyan | June 19, 2009, 3:05 pm