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Solo Sabbatical

9 The hook up

the-hook-up1Bored with being single? Looking to take a breather while still keeping your independence? Well you might want to investigate the idea of moving someone into your life who you can can hook up with from time to time!
Hooking up is such a popular expression now in the US that a book was written about it last year. Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus by Kathleen Bogle studied this modern phenomenon, which covers a wide range of consensual sexual activities, which have no pretence of starting a relationship. The examination by Bogle, an assistant professor of sociology and criminal justice at LaSalle University, was based on 76 interviews with mostly white college students and recent graduates from 2001 to 2006, who gave their insights into the culture of this sexual sport.
So what exactly is the hook up? Well the meaning depends very much on the context of the use for the term. For example, suggesting to a friend that you both hook up the next time she or he is in town equates to having a coffee or a pint or two. However, if this person is a past lover then the hook up implies sex, or simply lots of snogging. In other words, where there is a romantic or sexual theme going on between the two people in question, then hooking up is not an innocent meeting of minds.
The hook up is deemed to be a new-ish thread in the whole dating game, and is often considered to be a close cousin of the one night stand, which is possibly a harsher form of sex (see last issue’s Solo Sabbatical). One night stands are what they say on the tin – for one night only. Hook ups have no strings attached, but there is still the chance that you will both sleep together again. The importance thing to remember is the lack of expectation.
Male and females can be mates and hook up for convenience, sexual pleasure or satisfy mutual needs – they are FWBs (friends with benefits) or FBs (fu*k buddies). The relationship remains non-committed but at the same time there is an understanding that at times it’s OK to go beyond the bounds of kinship.
While the definition of hooking up is decidedly vague and the regulations even more so, there are still a few basic rules to obey if you want to keep exercising your right to this form of entertainment. Always, ALWAYS wear a condom. Stay away from the temptation to drunken dial when you’re hammered and horny – the object of your desire might find it alluring the first time, but not when it becomes a habit. And finally, for God’s sake whatever you do, don’t fall in love. It’s a hook up. By its very nature it has no future prospects. End of story.


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