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Solo Sabbatical

8 The one night stand

one-night-stand1There’s probably no need to explain this, but for those of you who are a little rusty as to the meaning of this month’s Solo Sabbatical, a one night stand is generally a single sexual encounter between two people, where neither has an expectation or even intention of pursuing any sort of relationship.
Perhaps the most ironic aspect – if you could call it that – about the whole thing is that it’s usually more about lying down than standing up, depending of course on the venue. No doubt there are instances when the couple involved decide to remain upright for the occasion.
Apparently a one night stand originally referred to a single night theatre performance, usually by a guest group on tour, until sex got in the way and changed the meaning of the expression for ever more. According to the all knowing Wikipedia, the participants in the modern day interpretation have typically not known each other very long and furthermore have had little time to get to know one another before sex takes over.
But there are certain other elements that make a one night stand unique. Supposedly, a one night shag is not always necessarily a one night stand – the crucial difference is that the lack of expectation that it will go anywhere, ie towards a relationship of sorts. And no money exchanges hands so therefore it’s not prostitution! The crux is that the pair involved will usually have little or no contact with one another aside from sex – it is actually possible to have multiple one night stands with the same person, provided that there is no regularity to the encounters or planning involved in meeting. If there is, then it is no longer classed as a one night stand as the participants have moved into other territories such as the land of the ‘friends with benefits’ or ‘fu*k buddies’.
So if you want to take a Solo Sabbatical and have a one night stand (and we’re neither encouraging or discouraging folk – after all, everyone has their needs!), there are a couple of things to remember:

Stay safe. Always, always use protection. For all you know the person you’re shagging is one night standing on a regular basis.

Make sure you fancy the person. Don’t have a one night stand for the sake of it and wake up the following morning in the total horrors.

Don’t be completely hammered. This will impair judgement and lead to the above, ie waking up the next morning in the horrors.

If you wake up in the other person’s place, have a quick getaway route planned.

If you wake up with the other person in your place, also have a quick getaway route planned – even if it means you have to lie and say you’ve to ‘go to the office’ on a Sunday morning. You can always head out to get coffee and go back to bed when your one night stand is safely departed.

Better still, leave in the middle of the night – saving you either doing the walk of shame or finding some way of getting rid of the person you’ve just slept with.

Lastly, don’t bother doing the farcical exchanging of numbers thing. It’s a one night stand so leave it at that. You don’t want to run the risk of having the person’s number and then getting drunk and phoning him/her for a booty call – a whole new monster again.

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