// you’re reading...

Solo Tabloid Tales


So Jessica Simpson has gained weight. Is she fat, or is she merely curvy? Well, there’s the million dollar question and the answer depends on who you’re talking to. But the whole thing makes you wonder if she decided to upsize on purpose for a few extra column inches. Because right now she’s making even more headlines than she did in her Newlyweds heyday when she managed to stay in the news by portraying herself on the hit MTV show as a bit thick. Well, very thick really. And now that the thickness has supposedly transferred to her waist, she even managed to knock Obama off the cover of a top US mag. That was some feat but then again the increased girth would have helped!
And speaking of girth, Oprah Winfrey is another one who’s been packing on a few stone of late and really there can no question mark over this. There is no bad angle here, the queen of talk is simply fatter. Note we didn’t say fat. We said fatter. “How did I let this happen,” she asked the world on the cover of her O magazine’s January issue. And guess what? Her extra 40 pounds boosted sales to over 1.1 million single copies, the best selling issue in three years. Like Jessica, you have to wonder if she did it on purpose.
Yo-yo weight is a career choice you see. Look at Anne Diamond – a closer to home ‘celeb’ whose job is literally to get fat, get thin, get fat, get thin and so on. She even has a website – www.fathappens.com – which deals with, you’ve guessed it, the fact that fat just happens. Nothing to do with gorging apparently.
It works the other say too of course. Nicole Richie is only famous ’cause she got so thin. She’s not quite as skeletal now, hence we don’t hear as much about her. But losing a kilo or two will put her right back on the front page. Ditto with Kerry Katona, who has been flaunting her ‘amazing’ new bod of late and getting plenty of press coverage in the process. Beats having her supposed bankruptcy and rotten husband being written about. Britney Spears has also been displaying her toned abs, although the same can’t be said for her ex Kevin Federline, who looks like he might might have eaten someone, bless him. Once so lean he looked an eel, now he’s more like a beached whale.
Meanwhile, Lindsay Lohan and her gal pal Samantha Ronson could do with sharing some of Kev’s pies. The duo, who are reportedly hosting a Valentine’s event in Hollywood, look like they share lunch, every second day. We’re not sure what’s up with Sam but Li-Lo’s rep claims her current scrawny frame is due to stress. Although why she’s stressed out is not clear. I mean, she has a job – some of the time anyway – so it’s not like the global economy is playing a part in her everyday worries. “We recently did a photo shoot and she ate two full meals,” added the mouthpiece. Wow. Two full meals. That’s more than most people can afford these days.


Comments are disallowed for this post.

Comments are closed.