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Solo Features

Valentine’s victims – and how not to be one

heart-nooseEven the most resilient singletons can find Valentine’s Day a bit tough. It’s like Christmas and New Year, only worse. At least in December/January you can buy a tree, put up decorations and drink eggnog. Come February, love is in the air and if you’re not not in love, you’re not supposed to join in. But fear not. We are on hand to give some no nonsense advice on how to deal with this annual dilemma, and how, above all else, not to be a Valentine’s victim!

Cop on. This is the first rule of all. If you are thinking of becoming a victim then get a grip. Things could be a lot worse then being single on Valentine’s. In fact, things are a lot worse. Brian Cowen is in charge of us and the country is in tatters. You should be happy to just have a roof over your head, not to mind a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/whatever.

Go out with friends. February 14 is on a Saturday this year so the chances are you’d be on the town anyway. Don’t let the fact that it’s the most romantic night of the year stop you going out and having fun. And besides, anyone else that’s in a pub on Valentine’s is more than likely to be single. You might score. It could turn out to be just a one night stand but who cares?

Stay in if you’re depressed. If you’re planning on being one of whole whiny singletons, bemoaning the fact that you’re all alone on Valentine’s, then please stay in. Go to bed actually. If that’s your attitude, fine – but there’s no need to drag your fellow spinsters/bachelors down into the gutter of hopelessness with you.

Throw a party. If you don’t feel like going out (or you are broke), and if you’re not battling a bad case of the Valentine’s blues, then why not throw a party? A BYO (bring your own) one of course. All you have to do is provide the venue as everyone else shows up with the food and drink. It’s better than taking a romantic bath by yourself isn’t it?

Think of the money. In this cash-strapped times you can ill-afford to be buying the perfect gift for a loved one. Or spending hard-earned wages wining and dining a person that might dump you next week.

Think of yourself. But just ’cause you’re saving money by not having to buy anyone a V Day pressie doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself. So go shopping and indulge – just for one day.

Think of the future. With the economy going further and further down the toilet by the day, you might just be better off on your own. At least then you only have yourself to look out for.

Jump on the pension levy bandwagon. If you’re finding the prospect of a V Day all alone a bit much, why not look for a little distraction? Apparently the IMPACT trade union is mounting a nationwide e-mail and lobbying campaign against politicians on February 14, including a mass lobby at local constituency offices. You could go along for support. It doesn’t matter if you’re not a public servant, or even if you actually agree with the pension levy. It’s just that it’s all bound to be a bit of craic.

Get drunk. All of the above must be executed whilst under the influence of some sort of alcohol. If can’t be single and a lush on Valentine’s Day, then when can you? Cheers everyone!


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  1. I’m a 35 year old single male. I was gonna go speed dating but I didn’t want to go on my own. I know, that goes against all that solo-magazine is about but still I decided against. Plus I thought it might smack of desperation going on Vals night. I’ve decided instead me and a mate are gonna go to a testosterone filled murder and mayhem double bill in the cinema of Friday the 13th and Punisher. Nothing like two crappy violent movies to take your mind off things plus nachos and ice cream. 🙂

    Posted by Deathstarkiller | February 13, 2009, 3:46 pm