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Solo Tabloid Tales

The gates of wrath

kerry-katona1So many gates these days – and we don’t mean the ones at the front of your house. No, we are referring to Kerry-gate and Manuel-gate, which was when Kerry Katona made a show of herself on national TV and Russell Brand and Jonathon Ross made a show of themselves on national radio.
It was Katona who kicked off the scandals a few weeks back when she turned up on This Morning looking and acting like, well, a train wreck and subsequently causing all kinds of fury. Slurred speech coupled with unusual behavior made for cringe TV, where interviewers Phillip Schofield and Fern Britton felt compelled to enquire after the former Atomic Kitten’s health. Bipolar medication was blamed for the ‘performance’, an explanation that raised many an eyebrow, but the domino effect of the whole debacle is that Katona has fired her publicist Max Clifford (who said he would never have left her go on the show in that state), reportedly lost her contract with OK! magazine and has to continually defend herself against accusations that she’s a druggie/lush/mess. Mmm. Good to know that in the midst of it all she is expected to keep her role as the face Iceland. The Christmas ads featuring the former Mrs Brian McFadden are thought to have been filmed already, so perhaps not losing her Iceland job is more to do with the credit crunch than anything else.
In the middle of all this, Katona is newly-slim after having £15,000 plastic surgery in conjunction with her MTV show Kerry Katona: Whole Again, but that didn’t stop the audience at the MTV Europe Music Awards apparently booing her when she appeared on stage. Still, her husband is, as always, hugely supportive and he is now going around claiming she’s more popular than ever. Mark Croft told Star magazine that with the launch of her new perfume, her fame is going from strength to strength.
“The public love her,” he proclaimed. “If her career has gone downhill, it’s a funny hill we’re going down. Kerry’s more popular now then ever – is that a downfall?”
And just as he announced this, Katona revealed her alcoholism to a Sunday newspaper, not that we we’re too bother because we’re pretty sure she told us about this issue a few years ago when she initially came out of The Priory.
And on the topic of downfalls, there has been none more spectacular than Russell Brand’s and Jonathon Ross’s. Although many believe that that duo haven’t tumbled anywhere and that there is no such thing as bad press. Remember Kate Moss‘s cocaine furore? Anyway, after leaving ‘lewd’ messages on the answering machine of Andrew Sachs, ie Manuel from Fawlty Towers, Brand has resigned, as have two Radio 2 bosses, Ross has been suspended and the world has gone mad passing judgement. Now the BBC has broadcast an apology for the ‘grossly offensive’ phone call, saying it should never have been recorded or broadcast – a mistake that is being investigated by an internal inquiry. It’s all getting a bit boring at this point and nobody seems to have noticed that the real crime in all this is that Brand and Ross are a pair of eejits. If some folk found the infamous voice message disgusting, there must be others who will agree that it simply was not funny. Still, Brand supposedly isn’t bothered and has dealt with the fallout by jumping on a place to America to do some stand up comedy in San Francisco. He better not start insulting Obama.

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