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Solo Tabloid Tales

Hair today

When we spotted Britney Spears being papped coming out of a Beverly Hills salon recently, we just couldn’t not comment. Sporting a new ‘do – apparently for the forthcoming Madonna tour – the media was abuzz with how the fallen popstar was ‘back to her best’. Now, while we are loathe to start Britney-bashing because, let’s face it, the poor girl has been through quite enough in the past year or two to last her a couple of lifetimes, we simply have to say something about her upgraded appearance. There’s nothing wrong with the rest of her – that a personal stylist couldn’t fix anyway – but aside from that, what is with the hair? Seriously, at the risk of sounding mean – it’s a holy show. And it’s not like she got it done for $10 with a coupon in some backstreet crimpers. No, she had it done in Beverly Hills! So again, what on earth is going on? It’s hideous! She clearly got hair extensions and by that we don’t mean that CLEARLY her hair is longer. No, we mean that CLEARLY there is new hair stuck to her old hair. And the bit where the new hair meets the old hair is about as obvious as the fact that her mental health was deteriorating all those months ago. But what is even more astonishing is the press coverage she’s been getting surrounding her ‘sleek’ new image. Is this because her recent look is so much better than the trailor trash one she’s been so fond of in recent times, or is it just that celeb fashion has taken a whole new direction? Even Victoria Beckman seems to have taken a turn in the hair stakes. Now we were never ones to believe in the power of Posh’s so-called style, but at least when she got her rotten extensions chopped off there was some hope. Her subsequent ‘Pob’ had potential until she went down her typical overly-contrived route and just ended up looking plain ridiculous. Now that she’s back to wearing it a bit longer she’s started to opt for the ‘up’ ‘do, which adds a few unnecessary years to her. She probably thinks she exuding old Hollywood glamour, when in reality she looks like she’s going to a middle class wedding. On the other hand, Posh’s ‘close pal’ Katie Holmes should probably never have cut off her lengthy layers seeing as these days she’s looking like a housewife who went for a shorter style entirely for the low maintenance factor. In fact Katie’s hair is not unlike that of her daughter Suri‘s, except for the fact that Suri’s is much edgier in ever sense of the word. And speaking of Victoria’s ‘close pals’, Eva Longoria Parker is in serious need of a trip to Peter Mark. Never mind any of them LA haunts – they obviously have lost the plot. Since Eva went for a bob-effect her sex appeal has practically evaporated. It’s not so much the length of her new hair – it’s the way she’s wearing it. And everyone is so busy talking about how she’s gained a few pounds that nobody seems to have noticed it. She looks like someone who went into a hairdressers in ’80s Ireland and asked for a ‘set’. Maybe she got poor advice from her Desperate Housewives co-star Terri Hatcher who, with her wispy locks, has never been a winner in the hair stakes. Gosh, all in all it’s been a hairy month.

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