// you’re reading...

Solo Signs Off

Singleton affective disorder

SAD is more widespread and chronic than you might think, writes Solo Style editor and guest columnist Annmarie O’Connor.

“It’s a cruel, cruel summer. Leaving me here on my own.” Ah, the dulcet tones of Bananarama, warbling in their dungarees about the perils of what’s come to be known as SAD – Singleton Affective Disorder. That’s right; the summer season that sees you celebrating the happiness of others…on your own. If there is a wedding, christening or a random engagement party to be had, chances are they will be squeezed into those three critical months where you could be frolicking bikini-clad on a Greek beach with Dimitri the bartender. Being a good singleton however, you RSVP, fret about your plus one possibilities, stick that crystal vase on your heavily pregnant credit card and do your civic duty. After all, when it’s your turn the favour will be returned; won’t it?
But what if the turn in the road never occurs? Could you have missed the exit for marital bliss while cruising along Singles’ Boulevard? I must admit, despite my good friend/good citizen DNA, I am rightfully miffed that I will effectively receive diddly squat for my efforts to avoid the one in two statistic. Surely if I’ve missed out on a Brown Thomas list, I should receive some sort of governmental compensation for my recession-proof lifestyle choice (no mention of my shoe habit, of course). I’m sorry but do I have to get hitched so that I can get some kitchen utensils and nice sheets and double my chances of buying a glorified closet? Is this what it’s come to? While I’m on my rant, another thing that has registered on my righteous radar is the complete lack of attention from certain married procreants when speaking of anything related to the single life. Case in point: I establish my own business this year and what do I get? A round of applause? A toaster? A pat on the back? No; none of the above. Despite the fact that it has taken longer than nine months to get off the ground; I’m beginning to think if I popped said company out of my vagina there may have been some sort of reaction. But I digress. Singleton Affective Disorder is more chronic and widespread than you’d imagine. So the next time you get the single blues, pay a visit to Coast where you’re bound to see your brethren begrudgingly paying for another three bags of ‘occasion wear’. And when you do, remember those Banana-tastic words of wisdom: “You’re not the only one” (chorus repeat to fade). Keep strong my friends. Just another two months to go.


Comments are disallowed for this post.

Comments are closed.