Solo Tabloid Tales

Celebs get sillier

The silly season is upon us and celebrities are rising to the occasion. Between Lindsay Lohan trying to convince us all she is a lesbian and Ashlee Simpson’s shotgun wedding, it’s been another amusing month in the wonderful world of celebrity. And now that the younger Simpson sister has confirmed her pregnancy, she’s truly moved up a notch in the step ladder of the stars because in the current Hollywood climate pregnancy and babies are ruling the roost. These days anyone who is anyone has either given birth or expressed a desire to reproduce. Angelina, Jessica Alba, Salma Hayek – the list is endless. Take Nicole Richie. The skinny starlet has only been a mother to little Harlow a wet week and she’s already up for an award and telling anyone who’ll listen that she’d like to pop another, and have twins as well. Here’s hoping her plans work out. Not that we should be too hard on Nicole. If we were in her shoes we’d be getting really pissed off by now.
Nicole struggled for years to emerge from the shadow of her BFF Paris Hilton. When they starred in The Simple Life together Nicole finally cracked a way to do this – lose a shocking amount of weight and appear baffled by the cause. Then acquire a rocker boyfriend in the shape of Good Charlotte’s Joel Madden. By the time Nic owned up to being with child herself, her star was on the up. Paris, in the meanwhile, had made a holy show of herself when she was sent to jail and subsequently became even more of a figure of fun than she previously was.
But back to Nicole. OK, so she’s not quite the string bean she used to be, but she’s still scrawny enough to grab headlines and now that she’s got a family her column inches have continued to grow. So, just when she’s shining on her own, independently famous and Paris-free, what does La Hilton go and do? She goes and hooks up with Nic’s boyfriend’s TWIN brother Benji. How annoying is that? It’s like they’re sleeping with the same guy. And if that’s not bad enough, Paris is going around expressing her own desire to get hitched and have kids. If she makes it up the aisle before Nicole, it could send Nicole straight back to rehab – and we wouldn’t blame her. Apparently she has been hitting party circuit a little too heavily of late. And how do we know this? Because Kerry Katona (yes, Kerry Katona) recently felt to need to tell us via OK! magazine that Nicole needs to stop partying so much. “If she’s out every bloody night then she needs her arse kicking into touch!” exclaimed the former Atomic Kitten whose mother by the way has pleaded guilty to a charge of benefit fraud after allegedly failing to notify the authorities about her income from media outlets.
In other celebrity news this month, there have been a few break ups and make ups. Seemingly Jodie Foster has split with her partner of 14 years and Shania Twain’s marriage has gone kaput following reports of her husband’s infidelity. George Clooney has thankfully gone solo again we hear, while Kelly Brook and Billy Zane are just annoying us now with their on-again, on-again carry on. What does either of them actually do anyway? Ellen and Portia are set to wed and the GyllenSpoons seem to be heading the same direction. And speaking of Jake, his ex, Kirsten Dunst, has been publicly insisting that her stint in rehab some months ago was depression related and nothing to do with any sort of addiction issues. Is she crazy? Doesn’t she know that she’s really dull and the notion that she was hitting the sauce a bit too much did wonders for the street cred?
And on the subject of street cred, we will end where we began with aspiring lesbian Li-Lo. Between her antics with Samantha Ronson and her family’s new reality TV show, Lindsay would want to be careful she doesn’t end up as another has-been. It’s not that long ago she was the darling of Hollywood. These days, however, she’s a long way from that. She might benefit from tuning into The Two Coreys – Corey Haim’s and Corey Feldman’s dreadful reality show, which is a perfect example of how it can all go horribly wrong.

© 2012 solo-magazine.com